Questionable Directions

Yesterday I went to Sears to return the eight ball that came with my pool table. It has a curs on it that sucks the life out of me. The return desk people said it looked used and wouldn't take it back. Fascists.

On the way out I passed through my favorite department. Cosmetics. Made up babes in lab coats engulfed in a fog of gaggingly sweet perfume. I like to stare at these women as I walk by. It makes them uncomfortable.

Anyhow, as I am leaving I catch a glimpse of this little girl standing alone in a crowd of people. She could not have been more than 2 or 3 or 7. I am real horrible at knowing how old kids are. She had a helium balloon tied to each pigtail, one red and one blue. She looked ridiculous.

She was in the middle of this real busy area with people bustling all around her nearly knocking her down. She did not seem to be one of those whiny bratty bawling type kids, but she was pretty sorrowful looking. Normally I would not get involved, but seeing as how she looked a little upset and her parents were nowhere to be found I walked over to her.

"Hey little girl, are you lost?"

She looked insulted and for a second I thought she was going to scream or something.

"No I'm not, mister," she said, scrunching up her nose at me. "Are you?" Then she walked away, balloons bobbing.